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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

-Rodney Dangerfield

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Topics : Funny Quotes Humour Quotes Infidelity Quotes Parenthood Quotes Parenting Quotes Sexuality Quotes +3 More Show Less


Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.

-Rodney Dangerfield

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Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.

-Rodney Dangerfield

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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

-Rodney Dangerfield

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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

-Rodney Dangerfield

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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

-Rodney Dangerfield

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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

-Rodney Dangerfield

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