George Carlin Quotes
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

-George Carlin
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

-George Carlin
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Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

-George Carlin
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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special p . . . Read more

-George Carlin
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

-George Carlin
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

-George Carlin
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That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

-George Carlin
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

-George Carlin
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