Brian P. Cleary Quotes
Whatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, "and then everything burst into flames.

-Brian P. Cleary
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A good friend will help you plant your tulips. A great friend will help you plant a gun on the unarmed intruder you just shot.

-Brian P. Cleary
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It’s not technically gossip if you start your sentence with “I’m really concerned about __________________ ,” (fill in the name of the person you’re not gossiping about).

-Brian P. Cleary
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Any cupcake consumed before 9AM is, technically, a muffin.

-Brian P. Cleary
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When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon.

-Brian P. Cleary
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If a couple has their picture taken at a wedding or other social gathering, and the woman looks hot, her guy could be blinking, chewing, or even mid-sneeze, and she’ll still display it on her desk at work.

-Brian P. Cleary
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If you treat what you value most in life more like a garden and less like a vending machine, you’ll probably be happier. (from You Oughta Know By Now)

-Brian P. Cleary
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There’s no such thing as free kittens.

-Brian P. Cleary
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