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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

-Woody Allen

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Woody Allen Quotes

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

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I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.

-Woody Allen

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In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch an . . . Read more

-Woody Allen

The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.

-Woody Allen

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To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

-Woody Allen

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Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.

-Woody Allen

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