Andy Rooney Quotes
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all . . . Read more

-Andy Rooney
Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

-Andy Rooney
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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

-Andy Rooney
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One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.

-Andy Rooney
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It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.

-Andy Rooney
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The 50-50-90 rule: anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

-Andy Rooney
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I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

-Andy Rooney
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I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

-Andy Rooney
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