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If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.

-Chris Rock

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Chris Rock Quotes

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men . . . Read more

-Chris Rock

Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.

-Chris Rock

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You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.

-Chris Rock

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Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.

-Chris Rock

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You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, that’s right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars… five thousand dollars per bullet… You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thousand do . . . Read more

-Chris Rock

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

-Chris Rock

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