Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.

-Jerry Seinfeld
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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason

-Jerry Seinfeld
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A bookstore is one of the only pieces of physical evidence we have that people are still thinking.

-Jerry Seinfeld
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Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.

-Jerry Seinfeld
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There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

-Jerry Seinfeld
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What I don't understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.

-Jerry Seinfeld
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According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

-Jerry Seinfeld
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Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst.

-Jerry Seinfeld
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