David Sedaris Quotes
If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.

-David Sedaris
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Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto.

-David Sedaris
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If I could believe in myself, why not give other improbabilities the benefit of the doubt?

-David Sedaris
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Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character.

-David Sedaris
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I haven't the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.

-David Sedaris
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We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.

-David Sedaris
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