Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.

-Ellen DeGeneres
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I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

-Ellen DeGeneres
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You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.

-Ellen DeGeneres
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If you want to test cosmetics, why do it on some poor animal who hasn't done anything? They should use prisoners who have been convicted of murder or rape instead. So, rather than seeing if perfume irritates a bunny rabbit's eyes, they should throw it in Charles Manson's eyes and ask him if it hurts.

-Ellen DeGeneres
Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

-Ellen DeGeneres
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Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've never sung the right words in that song? You hear them and all of a sudden you say to yourself, 'Life in the Fast Lane?' That's what they're saying right there? You think, 'why have I b . . . Read more

-Ellen DeGeneres