99+ Ogden Nash Quotes on Collected verse from 1929 on, Dog and Humor - Quotes.pub

Here you will find all the famous Ogden Nash quotes. There are more than 99+ quotes in our Ogden Nash quotes collection. We have collected all of them and made stunning Ogden Nash wallpapers & posters out of those quotes. You can use this wallpapers & posters on mobile, desktop, print and frame them or share them on the various social media platforms. You can download the quotes images in various different sizes for free. In the below list you can find quotes in various categories like Collected verse from 1929 on, Dog and Humor

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

God in His wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.

Time is like the ocean, always there, always different.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Here lies my past, Goodbye I have kissed it; Thank you kids, I wouldn’t have missed it.

Goodbye Quotes

Very Like a Whale

Poetry quote Quotes

...I would not engage the wombatIn any form of mortal combat.

Animals Quotes Combat Quotes Custard and Company: Poems Quotes Fights Quotes Nonsense Quotes Poetry Quotes

ADVENTURES OF ISABELIsabel

The Best of Ogden Nash Quotes

I am tarred and feathered with Time.

Time Quotes / Aging Quotes

I could not eat a kangaroo. But many fine Australians do. Those with cookbooks as well as boomerangs Prefer him in tasty kangaroo-meringues.

Camille saint saens Quotes Carnival of the animals Quotes Children s books Quotes Ogden Nash's Zoo Quotes Poetry Quotes Verse Quotes

The Best of Ogden Nash Quotes

You can be young only once, but you can be immature forever.

It's my own dream, I dreamt it, I dreamt that my hair was kempt, then I dremat my true love unkempt it.

Were it not for frustration and humiliationI suppose the human race would get ideas above its station.

Humanity Quotes / Custard and Company: Poems Quotes Embarassment Quotes Frustration Quotes Humans Quotes Humiliation Quotes Life Quotes

My garden will never make me famous. I'm a horticultural ignoramus. I can't tell a string-bean from a soybean, or even a girl bean from a boy bean

Hark to the sky of a seagull!He cries because he's not an eagle.Oh, what if you were you silly he-gull?What would you say to your she-gull?

Philo Vance / Needs a kick in the pance.

O, money, money, money, I'm not necessarily one of those who think thee holy,But I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly.

In the world of mulesThere are no rules.

Mules Quotes Rules Quotes

A Caution to Everybodyconsider the Auk.Becoming extinct before because he forgot out to fly and could only walk.Consider Man, who may well become extinct, Because he forgot how to walk and learned to fly before he thinked.

Poetry Quotes

The trouble with a kitten is that....... It eventually becomes a cat!

Humor Quotes

To keep your marriage brimming,With love in the loving cup,Whenever you're wrong, admit it;Whenever you're right, shut up."~Happy birthday Ogden Nash! (born 8.19.1902)

Advice Quotes Author Quotes Books Quotes Children s books Quotes Children s literature Quotes Editor Quotes

How easy for those who do not bulgeTo not overindulge!

A necessary dirge Quotes I m a stranger here myself 1938 Quotes

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Very Like a WhaleOne thing that literature would be greatly the better forWould be a more restricted employment by authors of simile and metaphor.Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teutons or Celts,Can'ts seem just to say that anything is the thing it is but haveto go out of their way to say that it is like something else.What foes it mean when we are toldThat the Assyrian came down like a wolf on the fold?In the first place, George Gordon Byron had had enough experienceTo know that it probably wasn't just one Assyrian, it was a lotof Assyrians.However, as too many arguments are apt to induce apoplexy and thus hinder longevity,We'll let it pass as one Assyrian for the sake of brevity.Now then, this particular Assyrian, the one whose cohorts were gleaming in purple and gold,Just what does the poet mean when he says he came down like a wolfon the fold?In heaven and earth more than is dreamed of in our philosophy thereare a great many things,But i don't imagine that among then there is a wolf with purpleand gold cohorts or purple and gold anythings.No, no, Lord Byron, before I'll believe that this Assyrian was actually like a wolf I must have some kind of proof;Did he run on all fours and did he have a hairy tail and a big redmouth and big white teeth and did he say Woof woof?Frankly I think it very unlikely, and all you were entitled to say,at the very most,Was that the Assyrian cohorts came down like a lot of Assyrian cohorts about to destroy the Hebrew host.But that wasn't fancy enough for Lord Byron, oh dear me no, he hadto invent a lot of figures of speech and then interpolatethem,With the result that whenever you mention Old Testament soldiersto people they say Oh yes, they're the ones that a lotof wolves dressed up in gold and purple ate them.That's the kind of thing that's being done all the time by poets,from Homer to Tennyson;They're always comparing ladies to lilies and veal to venison,And they always say things like that the snow is a white blanketafter a winter storm.Oh it is, is it, all right then, you sleep under a six-inch blanketof snow and I'll sleep under a half-inch blanket of unpoeticalblanket material and we'll see which one keeps warm,And after that maybe you'll begin to comprehend dimly,What I mean by too much metaphor and simile.

Humor Quotes Poem Quotes Poetry Quotes The Best of Ogden Nash Quotes Very like a whale Quotes Word Quotes

Indeed, everybody wants to be a wow, But not everybody knows exactly how. Some people think they will eventually wear diamonds instead of rhinestones Only by everlastingly keeping their noses to their ghrinestones

There is one thing that ought to be taught in all the colleges,Which is that people ought to be taught not to go around always making apologies.I don't mean the kind of apologies people make when they run over you or borrow five dollars or step on your feet,Because I think that is sort of sweet;No, I object to one kind of apology alone,Which is when people spend their time and yours apologizing for everything they own.You go to their house for a meal,And they apologize because the anchovies aren't caviar or the partridge is veal;They apologize privately for the crudeness of the other guests,And they apologize publicly for their wife's housekeeping or their husband's jests;If they give you a book by Dickens they apologize because it isn't by Scott,And if they take you to the theater, they apologize for the acting and the dialogue and the plot;They contain more milk of human kindness than the most capacious diary can,But if you are from out of town they apologize for everything local and if you are a foreigner they apologize for everything American.I dread these apologizers even as I am depicting them,I shudder as I think of the hours that must be spend in contradicting them,Because you are very rude if you let them emerge from an argument victorious,And when they say something of theirs is awful, it is your duty to convince them politely that it is magnificent and glorious,And what particularly bores me with them,Is that half the time you have to politely contradict them when you rudely agree with them,So I think there is one rule every host and hostess ought to keep with the comb and nail file and bicarbonate and aromatic spirits on a handy shelf,Which is don't spoil the denouement by telling the guests everything is terrible, but let them have the thrill of finding it out for themselves.

Bugs. Adam had'em.

Professional men, they have no cares;Whatever happens, they get theirs.

The Bronx? No Thonx!

New york city Quotes

Baclli swarm within my portalsSuch as ne'r conceived by mortals,But, bred by scientists,Wise and hoary in some Olympian laboratory.Bacteria as large as miceWith feet of fire and heads of ice,Who never interrupt for slumberTheir stomping, elephantine rumba.( From the poem--- " The Common Cold " )

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

Work Quotes / Money Quotes Pay Quotes People Quotes Sitting Quotes Standing Quotes

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

How do I feel today? I feel as unfit as an unfiddle,And it is the result of a certain turbulence in the mind and an uncertain burbulence in the middle.What was it, anyway, that angry thing that flew at me?I am unused to banshees crying Boo at me.Your wife can’t be a banshee—Or can she?

Marriage Quotes / Banshees Quotes Drinking Quotes Hangover Quotes Poetry Quotes Private Dining-room and Other New Verses Quotes Relationships Quotes

Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful,And who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends.

You can have my jellyfishI am not sellyfish

Everybody who has a baby thinks everybody who hasn't a baby ought to have a baby,Which accounts for the success of such plays as the Irish Rose of Abie,The idea apparently being that just by being fruitfulYou are doing something beautiful,Which if it is trueMeans that the common housefly is several million times more beautiful than me or you.

Babies Quotes Children Quotes Free Wheeling Quotes

Unwillingly Miranda wakes,Feels the sun with terror,One unwilling step she takes,Shuddering to the mirror.Miranda in Miranda's sightIs old and gray and dirty;Twenty-nine she was last night;This morning she is thirty.Shining like the morning star,Like the twilight shining,Haunted by a calendar,Miranda is a-pining.Silly girl, silver girl,Draw the mirror toward you;Time who makes the years to whirlAdorned as he adored you.Time is timelessness for you;Calendars for the human;What's a year, or thirty, toLoveliness made woman?Oh, Night will not see thirty again,Yet soft her wing, Miranda;Pick up your glass and tell me, then--How old is Spring, Miranda?

There’s nothing that keeps it’s youthSo far as I know, but a tree and the truth

Truth trees Quotes

He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who's served a heavy sentence Renews the racket, not repentance.

Crime Quotes Experience to let Quotes I'm a Stranger Here Myself Quotes Jail Quotes Prison Quotes Repentance Quotes

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

We Don't Need to Leave Yet, Do We? Or, Yes We DoOne kind of person when catching a train always wants to allow an hour to cover the ten-block trip to the terminus, And the other kind looks at them as if they were verminous, And the second kind says that five minutes is plenty and will even leave one minute over for buying the tickets, And the first kind looks at them as if they had cerebral rickets. One kind when theater-bound sups lightly at six and hastens off to the play, And indeed I know one such person who is so such that it frequently arrives in time for the last act of the matinee, And the other kind sits down at eight to a meal that is positively sumptuous, Observing cynically that an eight-thirty curtain never rises till eight-forty, an observation which is less cynical than bumptious. And what the first kind, sitting uncomfortably in the waiting room while the train is made up in the yards, can never understand, Is the injustice of the second kind's reaching their scat just as the train moves out, just as they had planned,And what the second kind cannot understand as they stumble over the first kind's heel just as the footlights flash on at last Is that the first kind doesn't feel the least bit foolish at having entered the theater before the cast. Oh, the first kind always wants to start now and the second kind always wants to tarry, Which wouldn't make any difference, except that each other is what they always marry.

Which the Chicken and Which the Egg?He drinks because she scolds, he thinks;She thinks she scolds because he drinks;And nether will admit what's true,That he's a sot and she's a shrew.

Poetry Quotes

At least when I get on the Boston train I have a good chance of landing in the South StationAnd not in that part of the daily press which is reserved for victims of aviation.

Airplanes Quotes Boston Quotes Flight Quotes Flying Quotes Hard Lines Quotes Massachusetts Quotes

My fellow man I do not care for.I often ask me, What's he there for?The only answer i can findIs, Reproduction of his kind.

Verses from 1929 on Quotes

Man is a victim of dopeIn the incurable form of hope!

Good by Quotes Old year Quotes

I give you now Professor TwistThe conscientious scientist.Trustees exclaimed, “He never bungles”And sent him off to distant jungles.Camped on a tropic riversideOne day he missed his lovely bride.She had, the guide informed him later, Been eaten by an alligator.Professor Twist could not but smile.You mean,” he said “a crocodile.!

People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.

Elephants are useful friends: they have handles on both ends.

Humor Quotes

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