99+ Molly Ivins Quotes on Feminism, Elections and Humor - Quotes.pub

Here you will find all the famous Molly Ivins quotes. There are more than 99+ quotes in our Molly Ivins quotes collection. We have collected all of them and made stunning Molly Ivins wallpapers & posters out of those quotes. You can use this wallpapers & posters on mobile, desktop, print and frame them or share them on the various social media platforms. You can download the quotes images in various different sizes for free. In the below list you can find quotes in various categories like Feminism, Elections and Humor

Calling George Bush shallow is like calling a dwarf short.

Being slightly paranoid is like being slightly pregnant – it tends to get worse.

Conservatives are fond of pointing out there are problems in this world can’t be solved by throwing money at them. There are even more that can’t be solved by dropping bombs on them.

I believe in practicing prudence at least once every two or three years.

He inspired all around him with awe at his work habits: According to several Reagan aides, in the wake of the Iran-contra scandal, there was serious talk of invoking the 25th Amendment to remove him from office because he wouldn’t come to work – all he wanted to do was watch movies and television.

Every two years, one of the most hotly contested elections in Texas is the poll taken among members of the capitol press corps to determine who are actually the ten stupidest members of the Legislature. Two years ago, there were thirty-seven official nominees and several write-ins.

California is now close to spending more on prisons than it does on higher education – surely the death warrant of a civilization.

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics.

The victor in the Democratic primary was State Senator Bill Sarpalius, who got a leg up one night in January when a disgruntled patriot slugged him so hard it broke his jaw and the jaw had to be wired shut for most of the campaign. For most politicians, that would constitute an electoral handicap, but since Sarpalius is not bent over double with intellect, it proved a boon. He’s a tall, nice-looking, apple-cheeked fellow, and if you don’t have to listen to him, he looks good.

Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce.

I think provincialism is an endemic characteristic with mankind, I think everybody everywhere is provincial, but it is particularly striking with Texans, and we tend to be very Texcentric.

That’s the trouble with this country, people keep messin’ up each other’s movies.

Texas is not a civilized place. Texans shoot one another a lot. They also knife, razor, and stomp one another to death with some frequency. And they fight in bars all the time.

Of course, it has never paid much.

One thing that corporations do not do is give out money out of the goodness of their hearts.

The advantage of being able to identify sin is that you can go out and do it, and enjoy it.

The odd thing about these television discussions designed to “get all sides of the issue” is that they do not feature a spectrum of people with different views on reality: Rather, they frequently give us a face-off between those who see reality and those who have missed it entirely. In the name of objectivity, we are getting fantasy-land.

On a personal note: I have contracted an outstanding case of breast cancer, from which I intend to recover. I don’t need get-well cards, but I would like the beloved women readers to do something for me: Go. Get. The. Damn. Mammogram. Done.

Manners are just a formal expression of how you treat people.

In city rooms and in the bars where newspeople drink, you can find out what’s going on. You can’t find it in the papers.

The Founders were right all along, but the results are a lot funnier than they intended.

In the first place, any group of folks willing to make asses of themselves in pursuit of a good time should be commended and encouraged: The spirit of human frolic needs all the help it can get.

Reading Ehrenreich is good for the soul.

I often plagiarize from myself. I like to think of this as ecological journalism: I recycle.

Populism is the simple premise that markets need to be restrained by society and by a democratic political system. We are not socialists or communists, we are proponents of regulated capitalism and, I might add, people who have read American history.

Sometimes I think Texas exists as a reality check for those who might wander too far toward the precious.

As for George Bush of Kennebunkport, Maine- personally I think he’s further evidence that the Great Scriptwriter in the Sky has an overdeveloped sense of irony.

Having breast cancer is massive amounts of no fun. First they mutilate you; then they poison you; then they burn you. I have been on blind dates better than that.

Fun Quotes

Whenever you hear a politician carry on about what a mess the schools are, be aware that you are looking at the culprit.

Humanism is not alive and well in Texas. Different colors and types of Texans do not like one another, nor do they pretend to.

Good thing we’ve still got politics in Texas – finest form of free entertainment ever invented.

The myth of the inevitability of economic globalization is based largely on the work of Milton Friedman, and easily the most underreported story of our time is that the current economy proves Friedman flatly wrong.

All right, all right, so I love Lubbock. I never claimed to have exquisite taste. I’ll be there with the diehards to the end, trying to explain, “No, this is a griddle with some Monopoly houses on it: this is Lubbock.” Still, the life of all us Lubbock-lovers would be a lot easier if the Chamber of Commerce hadn’t adopted the slogan “Keep Lubbock Beautiful.” Keep?

My friend Mercedes Pena made me get in touch with my emotions just before I had a breast cut off. Just as I suspected, they were awful. “How do you Latinas do this all the time in touch with your emotions?” I asked her. “That’s why we take siestas,” she replied.

Behind a smoke screen of high-profile female appointees and soothing slogans, George W. Bush is waging war on women.

Some days, I’d feel better with Punxsutawney Phil in the Oval Office – at least he doesn’t lie about the weather.

With politicians, artful evasion is always preferable to the outright lie.

If you ever get to the place where injustice doesn’t bother you, you’re dead.

When Michael Jackson, a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich, white woman, married Elvis Presley’s daughter the Scientologist. Makes you proud to be an American, dudn’t it?

Oh, hell, I can’t go on a spiritual journey – I’m constipated.

You look at the large problems that we face – that would be overpopulation, water shortages, global warming and AIDS, I suppose – all of that needs international cooperation to be solved.

Carl Parker observes, if you took all the fools out of the Lege, it wouldn’t be a representative body anymore.

Democracy requires a certain relish for confusion.

I know vegetarians don’t like to hear this, but God made an awful lot of land that’s good for nothing but grazing.

I believe that ignorance is the root of all evil. And that no one knows the truth.

If his IQ slips any lower, we’ll have to water him twice a day.

Michael Jackson was a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich white woman.

Mostly, Texas women are tough in some very fundamental ways. Not unfeminine, nor necessarily unladylike, just tough!

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

The thing about democracy, beloveds, is that it is not neat, orderly, or quiet. It requires a certain relish for confusion.

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