28 Josie Brown Quotes on Community and The Housewife Assassin's Handbook - Quotes.pub

Here you will find all the famous Josie Brown quotes. There are more than 28 quotes in our Josie Brown quotes collection. We have collected all of them and made stunning Josie Brown wallpapers & posters out of those quotes. You can use this wallpapers & posters on mobile, desktop, print and frame them or share them on the various social media platforms. You can download the quotes images in various different sizes for free. In the below list you can find quotes in various categories like Community and The Housewife Assassin's Handbook

I shift the dozen roses I’ve bought along with a copy of a spy novel – Red Sparrow by Jason Matthews – to shake her hand.

Will you ever question the love you have for your betrothed? The right answer here is “yes.” If you never question it, the relationship never grows. There should be misunderstandings and disagreements, because love isn’t a fairy tale. It is a challenge – and sometimes a struggle – to shape two lives into one.

They say you have to watch out for a woman scorned. Let me tell you, a woman in mourning can be just as deadly.

Word of caution: try not to get so caught up in the action that you shoot the idiot who keeps knocking on your front door! “He should have waited until the commercial break,” won’t earn you an acquittal for justifiable homicide.

The Housewife Assassin's Hollywood Scream Play Quotes

Who does she think she’s kidding? As if I don’t know why she’s sucking up to me— Because I’ve got something she’d like to get her hands on. At least, she thinks I’ve got him.

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

That’s my girl,” murmurs Jack. So, it’s a mutual admiration society. I’m not jealous. I’d just like to know a little background on their relationship. It’s not easy being odd man out, especially on your home turf… Seriously, I’m not jealous. Okay, maybe just a little.

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

adamant that Carl never let on that he felt his cover was

The Housewife Assassin's Deadly Dossier Quotes

When the time comes, your best bet is to get her into a routine that makes her comfortably drowsy.

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

Will you ever question the love you have for your betrothed? The right answer here is “yes.” If you never question it, the relationship never grows. There should be misunderstandings and disagreements, because love isn’t a fairy tale. It is a challenge—and sometimes a struggle—to shape two lives into one.

The Housewife Assassin's Tips for Weddings Quotes Weapons Quotes and Warfare Quotes

All I really needed to know about being a freelance assassin I learned before my youngest daughter, Trisha, started kindergarten.

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

The Kelseys’ home is done up in shades of beige and beiger. There are just a few pictures scattered around: of just her and Dave, a burly guy, balding, and a gap-tooth smile.

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

I’m used to seducing and then killing men when they are at their most vulnerable. Tonight, though, it is me who is fighting the urge to surrender.

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

can I help it if I’m a better assassin than I am a housewife?

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

The key to spring cleaning is to be ruthless! Throw out anything and everything you never use. (Or that may be incriminating. Burn, if necessary, but remember—if using gasoline, those fires should be contained in a non-flammable container.)

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

Helpful Hint: Some Berettas are compact enough to fit into even the smallest evening clutch.

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

Tidy Tip: Dig deep, and be sure to cover the body in a heavy layer of slaked lime—also known as calcium hydroxide, or Ca(OH)—which accelerates decomposition and kills odors that attract animals who may want to dig it up. A layer of dirt, then another of the slaked lime before a final half-foot of dirt. The bugs will help finish the job!

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

Any woman can be both the perfect housewife and an accomplished assassin, because both functions require the same qualities: creativity; a never-say-die attitude; and an attention to details, no matter how small…

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

Granted, your hard-working hubby is doing his fair share just by bringing home the bacon. But by encouraging him to take on a couple of those tasks himself, he’ll soon have more respect for all you do on your family’s behalf. If his excuse for turning you down is that he’s “too tired” or that “it’s women’s work,” there is a simple way to convince him otherwise: food poisoning.

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

Putting out the trash is a dirty job, but let’s face it—someone has to do it. Whereas many smart wives are able to cajole their husbands into taking on this duty, what happens when the debris that must be eliminated is (ahem) him? Rule of thumb: Do your best to ensure his demise doesn’t leave a lot of clean up. After all, messy is as messy does! Have a body bag on hand prior to disposal. He won’t question its presence if it is storing out-of-season attire in the back of your closet. Talk about recycling!

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

Should your naughty new neighbors resist your suggestions, invite them over to see your new media room. The fact that it doubles as a torture chamber should encourage them to toe the line!

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

He’s lucky I’m not wearing my six-inch fuck-me stilettos.

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

my mouth opens willingly for his. It’s a Pavlovian thing: when his face is anywhere within kissing distance, I hunger to have his lips on mine.

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

Important Tip: Avoid arsenic in any dishes. Seems that a dead guest has a way of putting a damper on a party. Go figure.

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

Bullseye. Well, almost. The cleaver misses his ear by a mere inch. He stops short, but he doesn’t turn around. Instead he squares his shoulders then resumes his stroll out the door.

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

There will always be a boogie man. Politicians need one.

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

Pies are so much fun to make—and so simple! All it takes to make a tender, flaky crust is the right amount of vegetable shortening, cut into flour with a sprinkle of cold water, and just a pinch of salt. Cherries have the right sweet-to-tart taste—and are also a good source of poison! Just crush the pits or stems. There you’ll find prussic acid, also known as hydrogen cyanide: easy to sprinkle into both the filling and the crust. How sweet it is!

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

Make special memories on this day to honor the father of your children by asking the kids to prepare a special meal. (Note: save the rat poison for another time.)

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Quotes

I grew up in libraries, and I hope I've learned never to take them for granted. A thriving library is the heart of its community, providing access to information and educational opportunities, bringing people together, leveling the playing field, and archiving our history.

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