What are some short Jill Conner Browne quotes?

"Always wear pretty underwear, on account of you just never know." "Stay fit and live long and prosper, but write your own obituary now, while you can, just in case." "If you are stuck sweating on a sandbar in the river of your life you've got to find a way back into those swift effervescent currents of joy that are your birthright." - Jill Conner Browne

How many quotes did Jill Conner Browne wrote?

The author Jill Conner Browne wrote around 37 of quotes.

37 Jill Conner Browne Quotes on Men, Humor and Men

Q: What is the best Jill Conner Browne quote?

"Try to avoid getting involved with somebody who's gonna need killing before it's over. It may seem to you that that narrows the field somewhat, but be diligent. " - Jill Conner Browne

Q: What are some Jill Conner Browne quotes?

"Hate people on an individual basis only - you must actually get to know someone at least slightly before you can properly hate him or her." "If there exists in this universe anything more infuriating and crazy-making than a man, I don't know what it is, thank you, and I don't want to know. " "Cheap jewelry, however, is worse than no jewelry at all, and there are very few things in life than are worse than no jewelry at all." - Jill Conner Browne

We read in the paper about a fifty-five-year-old woman-you read right, that's fifty five- who had quadruplets! Since the pregnancy was in vitro, it was clearly on purpose. I've got to tell you, we were all pretty happy that we hadn't done this and also none of us had ever considered it. Nor had we considered pulling out all our teeth with pliers or slamming our fingers in the car door repeatedly just to see what it feels like.

Likewise, she will know that if I start watching reality TV, quoting Dr. Phil, riding roller coasters, and seem to have forsaken bacon in favor of anything soy—it’s time to Get the Pillow. That’s what—well, I can’t tell you who but she’s a nurse—says they all say when they’ve got a particularly cantankerous patient on their wing.

American Thighs: The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Preserving Your Assets Quotes

In trying times, such as the ones we currently find ourselves mired in the middle of, one wants a distraction from one’s troubles, and I find it most helpful to plan and engage in a pleasant outing or two with close and like-minded friends. Or you could go gator huntin’.

Fat Is the New 30: The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Coping with (the crappy parts of) Life Quotes

I am surprised that Chicago—the Big-Shouldered City—is so trifling that they won’t let you eat in a restaurant if it’s on fire. Even if you already paid.

Fat Is the New 30: The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Coping with (the crappy parts of) Life Quotes

in certain regions of Italy, women of ill-repute or evil looks are forbidden to enter cheese factories.

Fat Is the New 30: The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Coping with (the crappy parts of) Life Quotes

sure, I’ve heard the weight-loss gurus spouting their “nothing tastes as good as being thin feels” mantra, and as I’ve said before—BULLSHIT. The times in my life when I have been thin, I enjoyed it well enough, but trust me, PLENTY of stuff tastes WAY better than being thin feels. For that matter, come to think of it, FEELING FULL FEELS better than being thin does.

Fat Is the New 30: The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Coping with (the crappy parts of) Life Quotes

Michael’s Magical Sweet Potato Muffins WHISK TOGETHER 1 cup dark brown sugar, 1/2 cup oil, 1 running-over teaspoon vanilla, and 2 eggs. Then, in another bowl, mix together 2 cups all-purpose flour, 2 teaspoons baking powder, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, 1 teaspoon nutmeg, 1/2 teaspoon allspice, and 1/2 teaspoon salt. To that, add 2 big giant sweet potatoes—either baked or boiled—and mashed. I suppose you COULD use canned ones, but it kinda makes me gag to think about. Add your egg/sugar mixture to all of that and stir it up without beating it to death. Put it in greased muffin tins and bake for about 25 to 30 minutes at 350°F. (If you want to, you could add 1/2 cup raisins or 1 cup pecans. I’d go with the pecans—not a big fan of raisins in stuff, but that’s just me.) Okay—I have got

American Thighs: The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Preserving Your Assets Quotes

So, whoever you are out there who’s convinced all these guys to commit this hair-trocity—why not push it a little further and get ’em to go all-out-Ed-Grimley and start wearing their pants up under their armpits and all? Come to think of it—that WOULD eliminate the proliferation of butt cracks we’ve been forced to view the last few years, revealed by the enduring but baffling “fad” of wearing your pants in such a way as to offer ease to anyone interested in making you their jailhouse bitch.

American Thighs: The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Preserving Your Assets Quotes

Queen of the Night Salsa 2.0 This is a jazzed-up version of an earlier recipe from our Precious Darlin’ George. He is ever seeking new and more delicious ways to please us and we adore him for this and other reasons. MIX ALL THIS stuff together—1 15-ounce can drained and rinsed black beans, 1 11-ounce can Niblets corn, 1 small can chopped green chilis, 1 small can chopped black olives, 2 to 3 chopped fresh tomatoes, at least 8 ounces shredded Monterey Jack, 1 bunch chopped green onions, some cilantro (fresh or dried, to taste), 1/2 teaspoon chili powder, 1/2 teaspoon cumin, 1/2 to 3/4 of a 16-ounce bottle of Wishbone Robusto Italian dressing, and a whole big lot of chopped-up bacon. Obviously, the more bacon, the better—duh. Chill all that overnight in the refrigerator and then eat it all at one sitting the next day with Fritos.

American Thighs: The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Preserving Your Assets Quotes

FINANCIAL TIPFor guys-- buying the stupid flowers when you're supposed to will be way cheaper than what you'll have to buy and do to make up for it if you forget.

Advice for men Quotes Buying flowers Quotes Financial tips Quotes Sweet potato queens Quotes The Sweet Potato Queens' Big-Ass Cookbook Quotes

Daddy always pointed out, it should come as no surprises to anyone that merchants want to move their wares-it's sorta what they do, after all. But that's just BUSINESS and that has nothing to do with CHRISTMAS.

Christmas spirit Quotes Commercialism Quotes Fat Is the New 30: The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Coping with (the crappy parts of) Life Quotes

They know they're supposed to do something, but they're not sure what. And you know what they do when they're not sure-- of course you do: They either do the wrong thing or they do nothing, and it's a toss up as to which is worse.

Forgetting valentines day Quotes Men and women Quotes Men being unromantic Quotes Sweet potato queens Quotes The Sweet Potato Queens' Big-Ass Cookbook Quotes Valentines day Quotes

Life. It’s your birthday present. Open it up and play with it. Act like you like it. (The One who gave it to you is watching, after all. Don’t wanna hurt His feelings.) And if you don’t like your life, CHANGE IT. It is all yours.

Fat Is the New 30: The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Coping with (the crappy parts of) Life Quotes

there is a difference between “denial” and “delusion.” The difference is that denial is a fun game and delusion is pitiable and requires meds that you will be too delusional to enjoy.

Fat Is the New 30: The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Coping with (the crappy parts of) Life Quotes

I love men. They Taste like Chicken

Men love humour sex Quotes

Pre-forty, you can wash your face with Tide and use Vaseline for moisturizer, toss on a little mascara and lip gloss, and you're a friggin' cover girl. Those of us on the slippery slope that is the Other Side of Forty can testify-- those days are so over. You pore over labels promising everything short of actual rebirth-- you will buy most of them for an average of $450 per quarter once-- and none of them will work. You will still be getting older and poorer with every passing purchase.

Aging Quotes Cost of aging Quotes Sweet potato queens Quotes The Sweet Potato Queens' Big-Ass Cookbook Quotes Women over 40 Quotes

If God wasn't mightily amused by our humanness, I figure he'd have wiped us out a long time ago.

Suzanne Sugarbaker of Designing Women was so right when she said, “There’s just nothing better in life than to ride around on the back of a convertible with a crown on your head.” Words to live by.

The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love Quotes

And he would say, “Y’all come when you can,” which was of no substantial pith or import, but then he would add, “Be particular.” Except he pronounced it “p’ticklar.” Be particular. That is, without a doubt, the Best Advice Ever Given in the History of the Entire World.

Be particular. That is, without a doubt, the Best Advice Ever Given in the History of the Entire World. Consider, if you will, the profound effect that following that advice would have on, say, your diet, your love life, your financial situation, your decision on whether to have that next drink. I mean, what do those two words not cover?

The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love Quotes

I believe that the ability to laugh at oneself is fundamental to the resiliency of the human spirit.

Human spirit Quotes Laugh at yourself Quotes Laughter Quotes The Sweet Potato Queens' Big-Ass Cookbook Quotes

Rich old people are more attractive than poor old people, so by all means, try to get rich before age sets in. Otherwise, you'll just be playing catch-up for the rest of your life and that will just wear you out, let me tell you.

Aging Quotes Financial planning Quotes Humerous quotes Quotes Senior citizen Quotes Sweet potato queens Quotes The Sweet Potato Queens' Big-Ass Cookbook Quotes