51 Jane Wagner Quotes on Complaining, Reality and Humor - Quotes.pub

Here you will find all the famous Jane Wagner quotes. There are more than 51 quotes in our Jane Wagner quotes collection. We have collected all of them and made stunning Jane Wagner wallpapers & posters out of those quotes. You can use this wallpapers & posters on mobile, desktop, print and frame them or share them on the various social media platforms. You can download the quotes images in various different sizes for free. In the below list you can find quotes in various categories like Complaining, Reality and Humor

I may not be great at geometry but I know one theorum. The longest distance between two points is you and your parents.

Of all the things we’ve learned, we still haven’t learned where did this desire to want to know come from?

When I first came into this world, Elvis was already fat.

I worry that humanity has been “advanced” to its present level of incompetency because evolution works on the Peter Principle.

I worry that our lives are like soap operas. We can go for months and not tune in to them, then six months later we look in and the same stuff is still going on.

I even worry about reflective flea collars. Oh, sure, drivers can see them glow in the dark, but so can the fleas.

It’s one thing to tolerate a boring marriage; a boring affair does not make sense.

My mom says I have to be more positive, and I say life has to be more positive too or it’s just not going to work.

Just think: your family are the people most likely to give you the flu.

If evolution was worth its salt, by now it should’ve evolved something better than survival of the fittest. I think a better idea would be survival of the wittiest.

Language because of our deep inner need to complain...

Mirrors can’t talk. Luckily for you, they can’t laugh either.

When you’re dancing the mystical dance of the molecules, you’re not the one who’s leading.

Like what’s the point being a health nut by day if you’re a coke head at night.

It’s not that I lack ambition. I am ambitious in the sense that I want to be more than I am now. But if I were truly ambitious, I think I’d already be more than I am now.

I am sick of being the victim of trends I reflect but don’t even understand.

I worry that drugs have forced us to be more creative than we really are.

I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you.

The truth can be made up if you know how.

I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have deja vu!

To think we have the garment industry instead of nature to thank for the zipper concept when it would have come in so handy for childbirth.

Ahhhhhhhh. There is nothing natural about natural childbirth. It is as close to a freak accident as anything I can think of. Why I picked a time like this to go off drugs.

One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer’s and has forgotten we exist.

What is reality anyway! It’s nothing but a collective hunch.

You don’t know what it’s like! Hyperactive twins! When they turned three, my doctor prescribed Ritalin – I wouldn’t dream of giving a drug to my children, but it does help when I take it myself.

Childhood comes at a time in your life when you are too young to understand what you are going through. And you’re too young to understand that you are too young to understand.

If olive oil comes from olives, then where does baby oil come from?

At the moment you are most in awe of all there is about life that you don’t understand, you are closer to understanding it all than at any other time.

I made some studies, and reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. I can take it in small doses, but as a lifestyle, I found it too confining. It was just too needful; it expected me to be there for it all the time, and with all I have to do – I had to let something go.

Infinity: Time on an ego trip.

Nothing makes you realize you don’t know what you want more than getting what you want.

If you are a human being, you might as well face it. You are going to rub a lot of people the wrong way.

A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?

Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent.

I feel like my life is just passing me by like two ships in the night. And I have missed both boats.

Unless you are at a picnic, life is no picnic.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person’s life. For better or worse. God puts us all in each other’s lives to impact one another in some way.

When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.

Hilarious Quotes Witty Quotes

See, the human mind is kind of like...a pinata. When it breaks open, there's a lot of surprises inside. Once you get the pinata perspective, you see that losing your mind can be a peak experience.

I worry whoever thought up the term 'quality control' thought if we didn't control it, it would get out of hand.

The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe Quotes

My space chums think reality was once a primitive method of crowd control that got out of hand. In my view, it’s absurdity dressed up in a three-piece business suit.

Aliens Quotes Reality Quotes The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe Quotes

At the moment you are most in awe of all there is about life that you do not understand, you are closer to understanding it all than at any other time.

A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?

The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.

I made some studies, and reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. I can take it in small doses, but as a lifestyle, I found it too confining. It was just too needful; it expected me to be there for it all the time, and with all I have to do--I had to let something go.

The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe Quotes

Reality is just a collective hunch.

Did I tell you what happened at the play? We were at the back of the theatre, standing there in the dark, when all of a sudden I feel one of 'em tug at my sleeve, whispers, "Trudy look!" I said, "Yeah, goosebumps. You definitely got goosebumps. You like the play that much?" They said it wasn't the play that gave 'em goosebumps, it was the audience!I'd forgot to tell them to watch the play; they'd been watching the audience! Yeah, to see a group of people sitting together in the dark, laughing and crying at the same things...well that just knocked 'em out! They said, "Trudy, the play was soup, the audience, art."So they're taking goosbumps back with 'em into space. Goosebumps! Quite a souvenir. I like to think of them out there in the dark, watching us. Sometimes we'll do something and they'll laugh. Sometimes we'll do something and they'll cry. And maybe, one day we'll do something so magnificent, the whole universe will get goosebumps.

Aliens Quotes Goosebumps Quotes Play Quotes The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe Quotes Theater Quotes Theatre Quotes

Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.

Humor Quotes Lies Quotes

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.

Humor Quotes

Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.

Reality Quotes Stress Quotes

1
2