Barney Thomson Books in Order

The Barney Thomson books have become so popular over the years that generation after generation, people keep going back to them.

If you're just starting with it and want a reading list, you're in luck. Here we list out all the Barney Thomson books in order; keeping in mind various factors like the publication year, reviews, its popularity among readers, etc.

It’s always a good idea to read such book titles in sequence so that you don't miss out on the story plot and its discussions in the book clubs.

Publication Order of Barney Thomson Books

The Cutting Edge of Barney Thomson

Lindsay, Douglas 2000

Scotland's most notorious and misunderstood serial killer Barney Thompson is on the run. The Holy Order of the Monks of St. John seems the ideal hide-out for a sad little Glasgow barber with a fear of small talk. With the police hot on his trail, he discovers the monastery already has its full complement of serial killers!

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A Prayer For Barney Thomson

Lindsay, Douglas 2001
With the murder of two former colleagues and 32 assorted monks, Barney Thomson has achieved a notoriety most serial killers only dream of. But when he tries to surrender to the authorities, no one will believe that he is the real Barney Thomson. And joining Murderers Anonymous is no help either. Read More

The King Was In His Counting House

Lindsay, Douglas 2004

Following his previous involvement with a branch of Murderer's Anonymous, which ended with him dead at the foot of a cliff and his brain stored in a jar, Barney Thomson's future seemed bleak. However, for no reason, suddenly he is back, plucked from the grave to be the personal barber to the First Minister of the Scottish Executive.

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The Last Fish Supper

Lindsay, Douglas 2006

Barney Thomson is a restless soul in search of a quiet town in which to settle. He thinks he might just have found it in Millport on the Isle of Cumbrae and life can at last bring him some peace. It might have done, but for things like the dead body at the bottom of the stairs, and the very outside possibility of Armageddon.

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The Final Cut

Douglas Lindsay 2009
Barney Thomson is back in the seventh and final episode of the barbershop crime series. Searching for answers to his tortured, murder-filled existence, Barney takes a job in London. Such is his fate that just as he arrives in the capital, a serial killer to run amok. Read More

Aye, Barney

Lindsay, Douglas 2018

A MACABRE, PITCH-BLACK, BLOODY MURDER COMEDY.WITH FLESH-EATING WORMS.“Lindsay has a real ear for dialogue and a highly visual imagination.” - SUNDAY MIRRORSomething is rotten in the town of Millport. Plans are being made, money is being thrown around, an empire is being built… and people are getting murdered.

A man has a stiletto thrust into his eye socket, another his windpipe brutally squeezed shut, whilst a kidnapped youth lies curled in a cage, unaware of what it is that lives inside him.Meanwhile, at the local barbershop, Barney Thomson lives a quiet life, cutting hair, wishing his customers would stop talking, and happy that he doesn’t seem to be involved in the latest calamity to be visited upon the town.

Yet Barney is haunted, his life forever plagued by psychopaths and murderers, and soon enough he is being drawn into the very heart of the horror, as Millport is once again plunged into the nightmare world of the serial killer...Warning: Contains 134 uses of the word 'fuck', 8 'cunts', 18 'bastards', and 7 'Trumps'.

Praise for Barney Thomson novels:“Gleefully macabre, hugely enjoyable black burlesque.” The Scotsman“Gloriously over the tope, very bloody, and very, very funny.” The Daily Telegraph“Highly entertaining black comedy.” Heat“Another great instalment in what is becoming a cult series.

” Booklore“Satisfyingly surreal.” Birmingham Post“A mad, macabre romp with surreal characters and cutting black humour.” The Sunday Mirror“This is extremely well-written, highly amusing and completely unpredictable in its outrageous plot twists and turns.

” The List“With classic timing and delight in the grotesque, Lindsay has crafted a macabre masterpiece where content lives up to style.” What’s On

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Curse Of The Clown

Lindsay, Douglas 2020

"The narrative voice is similar to being trapped at a Young Conservative dinner dance with a hungover Frankie Boyle..." Getting Away With MurderIT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEBODY LOSES A PENIS.A fiendish, fell figure, face painted like a demonic clown, emerges from the Scottish barbershop community, murder in mind, revenge to take, havoc to wreak.

The first to fall is an old customer, then the diabolical Koiffing Klown turns his attention to the barbers.In ones and twos they gather at the annual Scottish barbershop convention in Perthshire, unaware a maniacal monster lurks in their midst. Among them is Barney Thomson, mild-mannered hairdressing genius, cursed to walk the earth in the company of butchers, ne’er-do-wells and psychopaths.

As the killer strikes, then strikes again and again, with every swipe of the razor he comes one step closer to Barney and the men of the Millport tonsorium. Penises are severed, blood is spilled, and screams bounce from wall to wall, echoing impotently into the night…CURSE OF THE CLOWN, the ninth book in the Barney Thomson trilogy, is the most gruesomely hilarious yet.

Praise for the Barney Thomson series:“Gleefully macabre, hugely enjoyable black burlesque.” The Scotsman“This is pitch-black comedy spun from the finest writing. Fantastic plot, unforgettable scenes and plenty of twisted belly laughs.” New Woman“Gloriously over the top, very bloody and very, very funny.

” Daily Telegraph“With classic timing and delight in the grotesque, Lindsay has crafted a macabre masterpiece where content lives up to style.” What’s On“This is extremely well-written, highly amusing and completely unpredictable in its outrageous plot twists and turns.

” The List“Lindsay’s celebration of loserdom is surefire top-ten material.” The Face

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Publication Order of Barney Thomson Short Stories/Novellas

The End Of Days

Lindsay, Douglas 2011

December 2009. MPs are being murdered in revenge attacks for the expenses scandal, and Westminster is in a state of turmoil. With the government on the verge of collapse, the last Labour Prime Minister – desperately clinging to power – decides there is only one way to reclaim the government’s authority: relying on dubious intelligence, he instructs the Army to make plans to launch an invasion of the eastern seaboard of the United States of America.

As humanity stands on the brink of war, it may well be that we have reached the End of Days.The world of men is at a crossroads: will it be annihilated, or will it survive and be allowed to evolve naturally into a beer-drinking sloth species with no appendages? Ultimately, when the blood stops flowing and the last money-grabbing MP has been stabbed in the head, the fate of us all and of Planet Earth itself will rest in the hands of one man; renegade barbershop legend, Barney Thomson.

Douglas Lindsay is the writer of the Barney Thomson crime series, which began with THE LONG MIDNIGHT OF BARNEY THOMSON, first published in 1999. THE END OF DAYS is a stand alone short novel involving Barney Thomson, and not part of the current series of seven novels.

Praise for other books in the Barney Thomson series:"This chilling black comedy unfolds at dizzying speed." THE SUNDAY MIRROR"Gleefully macabre, hugely enjoyable black burlesque." THE SCOTSMAN"Very bloody, and very, very funny." THE TELEGRAPH"Highly entertaining comedy.

" HEAT"Lindsay's burlesque thrills offer no sex, no drugs, no desperation to be cool. Just straightforward adult story: fantastic plot, classic timing and gleeful delight in the grotesque." WHAT'S ON"Pitch black comedy spun from the finest writing. Fantastic plot, unforgettable scenes and plenty of twisted belly laughs.

" NEW WOMAN"Extremely well-written, highly amusing and completely unpredictable in its outrageous plot twists and turns." THE LIST

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The Curse of Barney Thomson & Other Stories

Lindsay, Douglas 2014

"an eccentric, blisteringly satirical voice..." SUNDAY EXPRESSTHE LONG MIDNIGHT OF BARNEY THOMSON, the first book in Douglas Lindsay’s iconic black comedy barbershop series, appeared in February 1999. Since then there have been seven further novels and three novellas.

The first seven novels are available in the omnibus, THE BARBERSHOP SEVEN.This short volume, THE CURSE OF BARNEY THOMSON, is a curate’s egg of short stories and random scenes that ultimately found themselves on the barbershop floor.Contains 5 short stories:PinheadThe Curse of Barney ThomsonTommyThe Ballad of Rusty BrownThe Adventure of the Marble Tibetan HeadEXCERPT:The heavy mood had somehow infected the shop.

A few newspapers were strewn around, but no one was very interested in them. Barney regularly bought a couple of morning papers for customers to read, more often on the days when he hoped they would immerse themselves in the day’s news and gossip rather than engage in conversation.

The more papers, the greater the choice, the less likely it was that he’d have to talk to people he didn’t know or people he’d come to know but with whom he did not really feel like engaging.He had purchased five newspapers that morning, such was his mood, such was his desire not to be spoken to.

It wasn’t working.Ex-Man U Star Ate My Testicles! screamed the Sun; Diana’s Ghost Tells Charles He’s A Dick claimed the Express; Most Foreigners Not Even British said the Mail; The Guardian led with It Turns Out Spying Is In GCHQ’s Job Description, Guardian To Apologise; the Scotsman had gone for First Minister To Push For Derby In New Spring Offensive.


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Barney Thomson: Zombie Slayer

Lindsay, Douglas 2017

Previously published as: BARNEY THOMSON: ZOMBIE KILLER“Lindsay has a real ear for dialogue and a highly visual imagination.” - SUNDAY MIRROREarly summer, 2011. The coalition government is in crisis, limping from one disaster to the next. The Prime Minister has a plan.

Get the world's finest barber in to give him a new haircut. His defence minister, however, has an entirely different and more compelling plan. Using the all-new zombie-control gene developed by British scientists, the government will harvest an army of the living dead and use it to take over the world.

As a series of gruesome murders takes place in London, and the restless ranks of the Conservative Party start to close in on a beleaguered Prime Minister, the zombie contagion is unleashed upon Planet Earth, the British Empire begins to expand, and Queen Victoria can at last stop turning in her grave.

What could possibly go wrong?Featuring barbershop legend Barney Thomson, murder, political intrigue, scenes of gratuitous flesh-eating, Humphrey Bogart, Satan, and the return of femme fatale Harlequin Sweetlips, Barney Thomson, Zombie Slayer is this year's must-read zombie political satire crime thriller comedy.

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And that's the end of the complete list! Now that you have it - the next step for you is to of course purchase them and dive into reading Barney Thomson books. Worry not, we've done the tedious job for you and added amazon direct book links including AudioBook, Kindle, Paperback and Hardcover versions as applicable.

Happy reading!

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